Okay, some of you may remember a picture I posted of a polar bear being trapped viciously by a Korean. This may be backlash that we're seeing to that incident, or this may be an isolated attack. I'm not sure. I'm not a polar bearologist; I'm not any other kind of bearologist either. I'm just reporting the facts.
A woman in Germany visited the Berlin Zoo. This isn't groundbreaking, but it's necessary to acknowledge that she was, in fact, at the zoo.
The woman visited the polar bear cage at the Berlin Zoo. Yes, if I went to the Berlin Zoo, you might also try to find me at the polar bear cage. Again, it's important to establish our facts.
Said woman has the innate ability to get over fences which separate humans and polar bears.
Said woman actually utilized her innate ability at the Berlin Zoo. She jumped over the fence so she could get in the polar bear cage. Why? Maybe she wanted to hangout. Maybe she wanted a coke. Unfortunately, the bears were FRESH OUT OF COLA.
The woman can swim. Take a look here as she swims around in the polar bears' little pond.
The woman made eye contact with a polar bear in his/her territory. Yeah, nice job, lady. Know your role.
The woman is not equipped with polar bear proof skin. That's right. She actually invaded Polar Bear Berlin Zoo Country (PBBZC) without any of the necessary equipment for a proper invasion. Well, PBBZC isn't gonna take any of your shit, Ms. Crazy.
The woman was rescued after a few bites. Lucky for her, the PBBZC isn't a very efficient killing machine. Damn polar bears.