Thursday, October 30, 2008

Happy Halloween!

Just a couple things:

This is the pumpkin I carved online, because although Koreans include pumpkin in their dishes and I have seen pumpkins growing on a roof near my apartment building, it is apparently impossible to buy whole pumpkins here. But the site is sweet: Pumpkin Simulator .

Also, I got pretty into the whole Halloween thing because it makes teaching so much easier (the kids are actually interested!) So I made 3D pumpkins with them (on the left, below. i made the lollipop ghosts with Alex......Alex explains herself in a comment on the first post of this blog.) I now have the most festive desk in the office, what with the two more pumpkins on the right side of my desk!
I miss America, but at least I get to party in Seoul tonight! (wearing a white crown on my head, no less) Have fun tonight kids.

P.S. If any of you are interested in some solid Halloween worksheets (crosswords and word searches and word scrambles, etc) just to feel like you're in elementary school again , let me know. I could even send you the link for how to make the pumpkins.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Halloween Costumes?

Hey what are y'all being for Halloween? I'm having a devil of a time thinking of something I really like. Some of the contenders so far (none of which make me particularly happy:

1) Kenny Loggins: I personally love the idea of being Kenny Loggins, but this is one of those ideas where no one else would find it anywhere near as funny as I do. I haven't shaved in a few days, but I just got a haircut, making the impression a little shakey. Also, the only really distinct image of Loggins I can think of is one which very few people would recognize:

2) A Light Switch: The light switch continues in the theme of mundane objects, embodied in last year's turnstile costume. It also occurs to me that the light switch idea would allow for crass jokes about turning me on, particularly if the switch itself is placed in a suggestive location. I recognize that this isn't particularly funny, and would certainly be open to suggestions in the same line of thinking.

3) Joe the Homeless Guy: The idea here would be a homeless guy making over $250,000 who is concerned that Obama's tax plan would raise his taxes, and is therefore supporting McCain. I find this idea quite clever, but there are two things about it that concern me: first, it requires more than three seconds of explanation, and second, I don't actually support Barack Obama. I don't see those as fatal problems, though. The other question would be how to execute the costume; I'm thinking to dress up as a bum and have the joke somehow represented on a cardboard sign, but what would the sign say? "Homeless please help (and don't let Obama raise my taxes)" with a McCain '08 logo?

I think I like the homeless guy idea best, but what do you guys think?


I've decided I don't like any of these ideas. After literally spending tonight brainstorming, I have come up with the idea of being a bottle opener. It could be done with cardboard, duct tape, and a little paint. Hehe I'm already bored with Halloween and it hasn't even started yet!

We Got Jokes!

I love silly things...

P.S. So many options....

Let's see, where should I start?
Cookie Monster: Danny; Cena: GRE
Cookie Monster: Hogan; Cena: Danny with his jacket
Cookie Monster: Andy; Cena: his job
Cookie Monster: Me; Cena: Korean students trying to steal the candy I brought in for them

Any more domination going on? Let me know.

Monday, October 27, 2008

By the way....

I think it's time for a new poll. Anyone want to do the honors?


I made a grand ass of myself yesterday so I thought I'd share......

Important Background information:
1 All the teachers at both the middle and the high school, including the vice-principals, work in one large room together.
2 Koreans couples do not live together unless they are married - it's just not done, although that is beginning to change.

So yesterday this American came to my school who taught here a couple of years ago. He was black and dressed in African get up and was talking about his work in West Africa, but he's actually from Flint, Michigan. Anyway so he went around the room saying hello and reuniting with everyone - they were all really glad to see him and so were the kids. When he got around to Wilber (Hilke, the western Pennsylvanian they hired to teach the high schoolers) and me, we talked for a while and it eventually came up that he needed a place to stay. So John and I basically live together because we have apartments in the same building and I wanted to offer this guy a place to stay, but then I was told it was time to leave for the day (this happens very suddenly and you are expected to haul ass when you are told it is time to leave), and the man was on the phone talking to someone who wasn't around that day. As I was leaving, he mentioned again that he needed a place to say and I just blurted out in front of the entire office, "I have an extra apartment!!" And they all looked up at me and were like, "What? Really?". And then just like Nixon I immediately attempted a cover-up and blurted out the dumbest lie to ever be lied: "John's away." oohhhhhh my gooood!!! That was so dumb haha these people are not idiots! We're not allowed to take days off unless school is not in session! Not to mention the fact that John teaches 3 km down the road and the two schools are very much in cahoots with each other - they often know what John is doing before John even knows.

It was silent for like 5 seconds. Well, maybe 3 1/2. They didn't question me because that would be rude in their culture. Honestly, I wish someone was just like bullshit!hahaha there's no way! But instead, it was just awkwardness. Straight up inescapable awkwardness.

When I came into work I thought for sure today I would be fired or something else drastic would happen to me. Like a public whipping or something.
Nothing's happened yet but I've only been here a half hour. I'll keep you posted.


Did you guys know that calling someone a socialist was really calling them black? Personally, I've called thousands upon thousands of people a socialist, and not a single one of them was an African American.

Nisse, are you black?

Breaking News: The Tampa Bay Devil Rays suck.

Breaking News deuce: It snowed earlier, which sucks more.

Breaking News x 3: I've posted!


Sunday, October 26, 2008

Learn How to Make Pants, Old Navy!

My mom and I went to Old Navy yesterday to look for something they didn't end up having, and they randomly handed us this little Halloween bag with some coupons in it. One of those coupons was good for $150 of free clothes, as long as we used it between yesterday and today. Sweet! $150 of free stuff, and we didn't even buy anything the first time!

So we went back today and I tried to find some decently fitting khaki pants, since I need those. And in the entirety of Old Navy, there was one pair of pants which fit anywhere close to decently. Therefore I proclaim, LEARN HOW TO MAKE EFFIN' PANTS, OLD NAVY!

However, I did score some pretty baller sweatpants. Life is good.


I just watched Jet Li's first movie, Shaolin Temple, and it was pretty decent. However, it had just about the worst ending possible (obviously don't read on if you want to see it). There was this babely girl from another Shaolin temple that Jet Li met in the middle of the movie (she was a "secular student," not a monk, so she can get married). She had this anklet thing with little bells on it, and she said that she was supposed to marry the guy who had the matching bells. Well, Jet Li has the other bells, but he's a Shaolin monk. So there's this sexual tension subplot through the entire kung fu movie and it's awesome (particularly because she's really bangin'). He can't marry her because he's a monk, but throughout the movie he's calling out the monastic order for being too distracted from real-world issues, and there's even a point where he talks about leaving the temple for good (though not to marry her, but rather to avenge the death of his parents, who were killed by the same guy who the girl's parents were killed by, so she has the same mission). So Jet Li's character is super conflicted throughout the movie.

Meanwhile, there's this other guy who's with them the whole time and very obviously has a crush on the girl (he's a secular student with the babely girl). He finds out that Jet Li has the anklet bells, and after a brief tantrum, tries to help Jet Li get to the girl. Of course, she has been kidnapped by the guy they all want to kill, and they fight to the death. After they kill the bad guy, Jet Li gives the bells to the other guy and tells him to give them to the girl. He then proceeds to bounce, while the other guy calls after him to tell him that he can't go through with it. Then the girl sees that the other guy has the bells, and says "So you had the bells the whole time?" and he hesitantly says "Uhh...yes!" And Jet Li turns as he walks away and waves goodbye. The end.


Friday, October 24, 2008


This. Just. Happened.


Try to remove the video from the tubernets, will you, I counter with a likely-illegal YouTube copy!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Today's Word of the Day: not made up, either

Word of the Day X?


Definition:(verb) Form a mental image of something that is not present or that is not the case.
Synonyms:conceive of, envisage, imagine
Usage:Such characters represent a grotesquely blown-up aspect of an ideal man...if not realizable, capable of being ideated.

Baby Eats Crack

I can't make this stuff up.

Herrooooo ra ra ra ra ra

Herro everybody! How are all my Joes the Plumber out there?

Andy here, hangin out in Madison with my new kitteh Steeeeeve. Yeah, I know, I'm one of those weird cat guys now. I wanted a dog, but I figured that a cat is just a lazy man's dog. I keep thinking I have to do something for it, but no, I really don't. What could be more appropriate for a lazy bastard such as I?

I'm still working for the UW Grad school as a marketing specialist and web designer, aka two things I know absolutely nothing about. Somehow I've managed to fool 'em, and apparently have done a good job of it. They gave me a raise and promotion so that I can live my dream of siphoning more of your tax dollars for no good reason.

Some fun facts about Andy:
  • I watch PBS daily
  • I eat enough Pizza to kill a herd of bison
  • Jesus really turned that water into Diet Pepsi (right Danny?)
  • I kind of want a blackberry, but I don't know

Other than that, I am still thoroughly undecided about this election. I'm pretty sure I'm one of 6.4 people left in the world that can say that. Whoever can guess my leanings wins a super-secret surprise to be named later. I am still thoroughly appreciative of the residents of 408 for leaving a contact case out just for me, in case that rare occasion occurred when I passed out on your couch or in your bathroom, and I'm looking forward to figuratively passing out all over this blog.

Oh $h!t! Git 'Em!

And I quote:

They've done it. The McCain campaign has gone and pissed off Miss Virginia.

I think that should about seal things. Nisse, don't worry about a thing; we'll be heading straight for massive government involvement in health care in no time at all!

And apparently, unlike Sarah Palin, she has been interviewed by Chris Matthews.

Read the whole article here.


To her credit, Sarah Palin is the greatest person to ever exist. Evidence:

Yes, that's right folks. Sarah Palin in a scarf emblazoned with the word "Vote," covered in donkeys. The world is a beautiful place.


I am so sick of hearing about Joe the plumber. Can't these guys drop it already? McCain just started a whirlwind "Joe the plumber" tour of Florida.... and now Obama is talking about Joe the CEO and all sorts of crap like that.

I mean, we appreciate them dumbing down their policies and everything- but if our presidential candidates can't think of more than one example in a presidential election that relates to the general public, maybe thats a bigger problem.

And plumbers? really? Where are all these up and coming plumbers just on the verge of becomming so popular that they are moving into a different tax bracket? I don't know if everybody has forgotten what plumbers do- but its not fun. Its not something you chose to do. Its something you do when you are SHIT OUT OF LUCK.

I think I need to stop reading the news so often.


I hope the Smithiwick's led to a solo naked dance party... it did for Socrates. Congrats for real, though, that's awesome!

John, do you really speak German? Kühl! (that's all I've learned since the last post)

I'm so bored, I have nothing to do until I move, and it's rainy and cold so I have nowhere to go. In the meantime, some things I am fond of in Spain:

  1. Cafe con leche--1 euro for excellent espresso with milk--and yes, it still makes me deaf, but I'm deaf IN SPAIN.
  2. Siesta
  3. 'El hormiguero'--sort of like a Conan O'Brien interview show, except they do scientific experiments with the guests, and there are ant puppets in the middle of the host's desk:
  4. The food, of course. Garlic, olive oil, seafood, ham, tortillas, etc etc. All delicious, and cheap!
  5. Paz Vega
  6. People walk their dogs without leashes! This never fails to amuse me.
People are also very interested in the election, although everyone here KNOWS Obama is going to win. It's refreshing, but scary that it might not happen.

Anyway, it has stopped raining, I'm going for a walk! 'Til soon all.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

more domination


And since I know you are not doing anything right now, I have some good news for you:
  2. (watch it)
  3. I am going to mail your jacket tomorrow. Seriously. Maybe Friday.... at the LATEST. Danny, seriously, that jacket is as good as not in the back of my closet right now. For real.
as always,


How Do You Say "Dominated" in Korean?

I just pwned that exam's face. 700 on the verbal and 800 on the math; the writing section still needs to be graded. Hopefully that gets me into Arizona!

Unfortunately, however, I'm stranded at my mom's house, which means Sarah's celebration plan won't work. And try as I might, I've been unable to locate either a cat or a bear. Accordingly, I've acquired a 6-pack of Smithwick's fine Irish Ale, and will spend the evening bumming around the house. To be honest, I'm not too displeased by the prospect of that; that exam was effin' exhausting. Thanks for all the well-wishes!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Danny > GRE

Dude you've got this.

Now listen. If you want to celebrate having taken the GRE, you must first NOT listen to my boyfriend, who thinks you can have fun with a cat. Ridiculous.

Instead, head over to my parents' house. They drink every night! They'll show you a good time. No I'm kidding - that's a bad idea. Really, I think you should make s'mores and drink mead with your dad in front of the fireplace. Instead of ridiculous, you could have sublime! Think about it! There you have "get wasted", "inexpensive" (your dad would obviously furnish the supplies), and "in good company"!! And when you're done making s'mores, you can hatch a plan to take over the world with the old man. Oh my gosh, another fun game is Indian Poker. In case you don't know how to play, stick a card on your forehead facing out (don't look at it!) and make bets on whose card is higher based on the other's reactions. Hilarious.


+ ++
= very fun time!

Lastly, did I mention how great you look today? ;)

Good luck, Danny!

Although I never had the pleasure of enjoying a mimosa on the front lawn with any of you, I do know all of you...intimately. It sounds like lives are pretty fantastical right now. Haha, Nisse, I'm so sorry I can't speak with you! The night would ring vibrant with the sound of beauty that is German. Bo ho ho. Danny, good luck with the GRE. Rock its socks off. As for the party or funeral afterwards, I have a suggestion that will work for both. Get wasted and play cards with a cat. You could probably do a number of sitdown shots with the cat and then change to beer.

Else...Get wasted with a bear and get him to pay for the cab.

GRE Tomorrow! Eep!

Tomorrow I will gain my freedom from the tyrant that is the Graduate Record Examination (record of what?), which has forced me -- a dewy-eyed, innocent young philosopher -- to relearn mathematics! The horror!

But fear not, for as soon as I finish with this exam, I will...uh...crap. There's not really much of anyone to celebrate with, is there. Bollocks.

It has recently (as in just now) come to my attention that I will be having a contest to see who can devise the most entertaining way for me to celebrate my victory over (or defeat at the hands of) the GRE tomorrow. The winner will receive a Certificate of Overwhelming Victory created in MS Paint (unless the winner is Hogan, in which case the certificate will be delivered upon my receipt of my jacket).

Responses beginning with "Get wasted and..." will need to take account of a) my opposition to drinking to excess alone, b) my current lack of a car, and c) my relative aversion to spending money while unemployed. However, responses with this beginning which do manage to account for these three variables will be strongly favored. Good luck, contestants!

And more importantly, good luck me!

Spain (in which Nisse discovers she fucking loves coloring)

First of all, this blog is the ideation of the year. I´m making you both medals. Second, the picture is funny because it´s true.

Some updates on Spain:
  1. I´m moving! Mostly I decided I´m done with Córdoba, and I´ve broken enough hearts here so it´s time to start fresh. So I´m moving to Granada, the number one Erasmus city in Europe (Erasmus is the European study abroad program), which means even more heartbreakery is in store! In the meantime there are far more jobs to be had in Granada, and far more things to do as a young, hip, world-traveling gal. Not to mention I have friends there who are letting me stay with them (Hogan, I´m getting a jump on the freeloading).
  2. I have officially left my program, despite trying to reason with them and ask for help several times. Who wouldn´t give an American girl a skull moped if she asked nicely?
  3. I got my first plant (rescued from the dastardly Marissa, who was going to sit back and watch it die), and am starting a vegetable/herb garden on our terrace soon.
  4. I´m learning German, very slowly. So far I know how to say ¨What are you doing?¨ and ¨I will eat your soul¨, as well as most cell phone-related words because I switched the language on mine to German.

Otherwise, I´ve been spending my time trying to find a replacement roommate, a job, and a new apartment in Granada. It´s still pretty warm here, so I´ve been walking around the city a little and going out with my roommates (Chuck--American, who I met in Sevilla last fall, and Beatrice--Austrian, who we met in our hostel during the first week here) and some of our friends here. There is also a kebab stand right down the street from our apartment, so they´re getting to know us quite well. I haven´t happened upon the libertarian socialist again, but I plan to give him a piece of Danny´s mind when I do. With Danny´s permission, of course.

Monday, October 20, 2008

whats this all a-grout

The real question is, how come our mimosas never looked like those, right there on the right there? hmm? danny?
Living with elliot and dan is sort of like living by myself, if I sleptwalked and made a big mess every night. We wrote up a contract- to get dishes done (no dishwasher)- and it is literally a whole page of writing. Who knew doing dishes could get so complicated!!

Here are some house updates:
  • we have a microwave!
  • the sharks haven't killed each other yet, and the snails haven't eaten any fish or sharks
  • the guy upstairs apparently doesn't wrestle, breakdance, riverdance, move his furniture around, bowl in his livingroom, drop rocks, or anything else like that. I guess he just has really heavy feet.
  • None of our plants have died
  • Dannys coat is taking up valuable space in my closet
Other than that- the location is great (how come you never told me that, Sarah), and we are keeping the heat about ten degrees hotter than we need to... because we can and I am still recovering from last winter.

Here are some more tidbits:
  • Frank Lloyd Wright developed his Prairie style in 1901, first shown in the Willits house
  • the Prairie style is characterized by overlapping space, diversified functionality of space, and permeable exteriors
  • Frank Lloyd Wright owned a customized Cadillac
  • His son, who was also a practicing architect, was the inventor of Lincoln Logs
Back to the paper!

Benedict Powell

So wonderfully offensive! Who could possibly think that this was okay?! I love this country!

Just figured you guys should be aware!


Also, I'd like to publicly thank Danny for ideating this blog and for starting it off on a good foot. It should be interesting to see where it goes.

Hogan, how do you like living on E. Johnson? Are things going well with Elliott and Dan? And Nisse who are you living with/where?

Hello, World!

If you're reading this, you probably already know the authors (and if you don't...well...creepy). But because we here at MFL are strong supporters of creepy stalkers, we feel that we should introduce ourselves.

Hogan is a glorified lawn-mowing, weed-pulling, and fancy-picture-drawing technician-to-be (that is, a landscape architecture student) at the University of Wisconsin. He occasionally mixes food with his soy sauce, and even more occasionally finds his lost clothing (though usually after a period of many, many months). As of this writing, Hogan is still in possession of a jacket which does not belong to him, in spite of the near-freezing temperatures being endured daily by its rightful owner halfway across the country (God dammit Hogan send me my damned jacket!!). Hogan was a resident of the 408 W. Washington house which provided this blog with its name.

Sarah is a rookie English teacher in the fine Asian nation (Asianation?) of South Korea, where she lives in perpetual fear of being caught substituting an "r" for an "l." In response to some of her more brutal corporal punishments and public shamings of her students, Korean officials determined that she would be best suited with even younger children, preparing them emotionally for a future "revenge" invasion of North Korea. Sarah is not a 408 W. Washington alum, but spent enough time on the couch there to warrant honorary status.

Nisse is apparently a libertarian socialist, and an ex-member of the liberal elite media. She is stranded somewhere in Spain without so much as a skull-emblazoned moped to get around on, much like a number of my possessions are stranded at her parents' house in Wisconsin. In spite of her denials and a great deal of evidence to the contrary, Nisse is an unrepentant roommates'-food-eater, living-area-messer-upper, and pretty much every other terrible thing that could conceivably lead someone to abhor living with someone else. However, she does not dilute her cold-brewed iced coffee, which earns her a pass in my book (though perhaps not her boss'). Nisse was a 408 W. Washington resident.

Andy is a proud advocate of limiting the government's involvement in the lives of citizens, except for those who work for it like he does. He is very possibly the most diabetic human being that has ever lived, leading him to a firm insistence on Diet Pepsi (though apparently Sunkist is still okay when it's mixed with Bacardi O; perhaps the rum acts as a neutralizing agent). Andy did not live at 408 W. Washington, but spent so many weekend nights on the couch that if a homeless person had snuck in and passed out there, the residents would likely not have known until the individual awoke.

My name is Danny (pronounced "Donny" because of an acute case of Israeli heritage). As the author, I worry that bias may enter into any characterization I could offer of myself here. But as an extremely honorable, understated, and modest person, I think I might be able to put my self-love aside for long enough to finish this post. I am currently a stereotypical unemployed philosopher, temporarily freeloading off of my parents while I finish my graduate school applications. I have recently become acquainted with the Kung Fu channel in high definition, and it has basically revolutionized my life. I too lived at 408 W. Washington.

So hopefully that takes care of introductions. You can now get back to your stalking. Enjoy!