Monday, October 20, 2008

Hello, World!

If you're reading this, you probably already know the authors (and if you don't...well...creepy). But because we here at MFL are strong supporters of creepy stalkers, we feel that we should introduce ourselves.

Hogan is a glorified lawn-mowing, weed-pulling, and fancy-picture-drawing technician-to-be (that is, a landscape architecture student) at the University of Wisconsin. He occasionally mixes food with his soy sauce, and even more occasionally finds his lost clothing (though usually after a period of many, many months). As of this writing, Hogan is still in possession of a jacket which does not belong to him, in spite of the near-freezing temperatures being endured daily by its rightful owner halfway across the country (God dammit Hogan send me my damned jacket!!). Hogan was a resident of the 408 W. Washington house which provided this blog with its name.

Sarah is a rookie English teacher in the fine Asian nation (Asianation?) of South Korea, where she lives in perpetual fear of being caught substituting an "r" for an "l." In response to some of her more brutal corporal punishments and public shamings of her students, Korean officials determined that she would be best suited with even younger children, preparing them emotionally for a future "revenge" invasion of North Korea. Sarah is not a 408 W. Washington alum, but spent enough time on the couch there to warrant honorary status.

Nisse is apparently a libertarian socialist, and an ex-member of the liberal elite media. She is stranded somewhere in Spain without so much as a skull-emblazoned moped to get around on, much like a number of my possessions are stranded at her parents' house in Wisconsin. In spite of her denials and a great deal of evidence to the contrary, Nisse is an unrepentant roommates'-food-eater, living-area-messer-upper, and pretty much every other terrible thing that could conceivably lead someone to abhor living with someone else. However, she does not dilute her cold-brewed iced coffee, which earns her a pass in my book (though perhaps not her boss'). Nisse was a 408 W. Washington resident.

Andy is a proud advocate of limiting the government's involvement in the lives of citizens, except for those who work for it like he does. He is very possibly the most diabetic human being that has ever lived, leading him to a firm insistence on Diet Pepsi (though apparently Sunkist is still okay when it's mixed with Bacardi O; perhaps the rum acts as a neutralizing agent). Andy did not live at 408 W. Washington, but spent so many weekend nights on the couch that if a homeless person had snuck in and passed out there, the residents would likely not have known until the individual awoke.

My name is Danny (pronounced "Donny" because of an acute case of Israeli heritage). As the author, I worry that bias may enter into any characterization I could offer of myself here. But as an extremely honorable, understated, and modest person, I think I might be able to put my self-love aside for long enough to finish this post. I am currently a stereotypical unemployed philosopher, temporarily freeloading off of my parents while I finish my graduate school applications. I have recently become acquainted with the Kung Fu channel in high definition, and it has basically revolutionized my life. I too lived at 408 W. Washington.

So hopefully that takes care of introductions. You can now get back to your stalking. Enjoy!

2 comments:

Sarah said...

beautifully done, danny. just gorgeous.

alex-uh said...

Hi, this blog is thoroughly entertaining! I have befriended Sarah in the rand of kimchi...and she is a lifesaver of sorts. She was gracious enough to share this blog with a few of us, and, even better, a picture of the skull moped (which i would totally drive to work, btw). I must say that the moped is, how should i put it...horrificly hilarious, or terrifyingly wonderful...Ya know, it's just goddamned perfect. and I want it, with matching cape in tow.

I wish you all the best, and I look forward to further entertainment from Mimosas!

peace, your favorite libertarian socialist practical dreamer