So a few weeks ago, my dad was at a sushi restaurant called Tengda in Westport with one of his friends. His waitress was a girl named Leeane, a blonde ex-sorority girl from the town over who had just graduated with a degree in marketing from Johnson and Wales University in Rhode Island. How do I know all this about Leeane, you might ask? That's a good question.
My dad, being my dad, decided that Leeane was cute, and that I should meet her. And he told Leeane so, initially demanding that she call me on the spot, but eventually settling for her promise that she would text message me when she got off work. And she actually did! But though my dad implored me to go meet her, it turned out she wasn't available. So nothing came of it.
About a week and a half later, my dad was in the restaurant again with another friend, and Leeane was his waitress again. He demanded to know why she and I hadn't hung out, and she (almost certainly embarrassedly) pointed out that we had spoken, but that nothing had worked out. She text messaged me again, but it turned out she wasn't going out that night, and so again nothing came of it.
Fast forward to last night. My dad is leaving for a business trip to Israel, and I am to drive him to the airport. On the way, we stop for sushi, and at this point the staff at the restaurant even jokes with him about being seated with Leeane (of course, he is on a first-name basis with the restaurant's management). She comes over, and my dad says, "By the way, this is my son." We shake hands. He proceeds to demand that we hang out, and she points out that as the boy, it's my job to call her. He harasses her a little more over the course of the dinner, but she takes it in stride. On the way out, he stops into the bathroom, and Leeanne tells me my dad makes her nervous; I apologize, and assure her he means no harm. She wasn't really my type, but she was pretty and seemed nice enough.
So I text her later, pointing out that I think I owe her a drink, and we end up going to a bar in Fairfield. There's not much else to the story; we had a pretty good time, and I'll probably see her again at some point. But the moral is that my dad is very possibly the most ridiculous human being on the face of the Earth, and yet he somehow is a pretty good wingman.
In other news, Bob Bacon beat Matt Fries for a seat in the Colorado senate. Genius!